The Aftermath
A year ago today, (February 16th, 2022)
Melody’s dad and I had only been engaged for 2 months. I knew it was time to pack my things. I craved freedom and wanted my old self back. I was done with all the violence and abuse.
I reached out to my support group, and they were nothing but loving and encouraging.
Here’s the truth, I left him because he was abusive. He would throw things at me and broke all my things. He would take my clothes and throw it out. He isolated me from my friends and family. He told me if I ever left, he would tell people that I was crazy, and I that cheated on him multiple times. I was sure everyone was going to be on his side. Luckily, for me He had no idea all the evidence I have. He is a 3rd grade teacher, and a church leader he should have known how to treat his family better. Melody deserved so much better than that.
The day I left.
I have never felt so proud of myself. I left him on May 20th 2022. It took me 3 months to gain the courage to stand up to him. That night he threw the garbage can at me completely missing Melody that's when I knew... Melody and I are no longer safe.
He did exactly what he said he was going to do. He told everyone including my family that I was cheating on him with multiple people, and that's why he left me.
It wasn’t until a couple months later that Melody was walking. I started to find myself again. I thought I would be scared of freedom, because I thought I would be alone. As he put it “No one is ever going to love a woman that has a child.” I let him get in my head for so long that I grew to believe every awful thing he said to me. That everyone would hate me. Everyone would think of me as an attention seeking liar. He made me believe that I was absolute no one, and worth nothing.
I love my family, and friends and I know they love me too. I’m proud of myself for not breaking down I kept going. I wish I knew then that leaving, and moving on was the easiest thing I have ever done. There’s is a whole world out there for Melody and me.
I got a lot of hate messages from his family calling me a liar. They went as far as to say that I don’t deserve Melody. A couple of months ago, I was really angry and wanted to expose him. I keep calm. Focusing on Melody, school, and self-care. I am truly happy with the life I have now. I’m excited for what's to come. I finally found the peace I wanted.
I will be honest, I was scared and very hesitant to write about the abuse, and violence. I kept thinking about all the backlash I would get. Then I thought of future Melody. One day she will also meet Love. I don’t want her Love to be anything like that.
She is my daughter, and I have to teach her that her voice matters. Her side and her truth will always be important to me. She is a miracle, and she deserves all that is beautiful in this world. I get to teach her what unconditional love is, and that self-love comes first. No one should ever hold such power over her life. Breaking yourself apart to create a better you is a long process, but it's worth all the work you put into yourself. No one else can do that for you. Freedom offers you so much beauty, and happiness. The world is yours!
Speaking to the police
I was a nervous wreck. They reminded me that I am not alone.
They told me they were happy to see me sitting that chair and speaking up. They went on to say that usually women in my situation don’t ever leave. They stay and tolerate so much abuse. For the first time in my life, I was scared to death and shaking when they said "First, it’s the women... then, the children." having thought of Melody watching me get treated that way.
If you or someone you know have been or are in abusive relationship, I will be linking all the resources that helped me below.
Fair Haven Rape Crisis Center General Support: Home | Fair Haven Rape Crisis Center (fairhavenrcc.org)
Six Self-Care Tips on Overcoming Abuse-Related Trauma: Six Self-Care Tips on Overcoming Abuse-Related Trauma | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
Abused Women and their Children (CAWC) is committed to ending domestic violence: Connections for Abused Women and their Children - Domestic Violence Services Chicago (cawc.org)
Comments